Thanksgiving... wlda been exactly a year yesterday.

No contact....

Embarked on this in october. He made the random attempt to contact me yesterday.., this is my take cos ordinarily it wld have spiraled me into a stupid frenzy of unnecessary responding.

This process truly works. Embarked on it in October and at first it was truly difficult. After months in an emotionally exhausting and confusing situation i pulled the plug on it. Of course he tried the customary comeback and i made it clear i didn't appreciate that. Yes it was someone i had believed might have been an long term option however i had lost cntrol of myself emotionally and otherwise. Fast forward almost 2months later i get a random holiday msg from him, i wasn't even sure i wanted to respond. I simply acknowledged receipt of the message and sd nothing else. As a 100% single person now and after having reflected on my own faults during that period and on past errors i realized i was allowing relationships to be run on other people's terms. If anyone wants to be a part of my life they will have to respect my wishes and come at me more definitively. An error i had repeatedly made and realized during the no contact period. There were habits i have walked away from too and my outlook on relationships has changed and i have made very visible changes to my appearance to fit ME. Anyone fearing no contact i say pray about it daily, feel watever u need to privately, but u wil be glad u stood by this process when the time is up.

Today going on 2 months without real interaction with that ex, i feel like i have made so many positive changes to my life alone and all that i had become slave to i have freed myself. His opinion that mattered so much is now beyond irrelevant. I no longer have the anger, regrets or bitterness i felt initially. I simply a doing me one day at a time. Yes i don't have much going on outwardly and socially, but internally i feel so much more im control. Learning to love myself more daily.

Its not to say my heart is shut on him, i am open to starting over if he approaches me correctly however i do not live by that hope or expectation anymore.