My long term goals:

I will do everything i can to achieve these goals i have set. I realize the road may not be smooth but i will not allow obstacles to keep me down:
And these are in no particular chronological order ~

- Find true love and companionship (doesn't have to necessarily be marriage. I wouldn't mind having another child with the right person. I see my daughter yearns for a sibling.

- I will own a townhouse. My ideal one will have a car garage, two bathrooms and patio or yard. Why a townhouse not a single family home? I grew up in a big home. I dont see the need for excessive space. I like the coziness of a townhouse and a lot of times the communities have interesting esthetics that require little maintenance.

-I will drive a Mercedes Benz. I just love that car. I have celebrated many pple purchasing them and always wished i had one.

-I will end up in my ultimate satisfying career position. Im not particularly business minded and i do prefer the security of being employed particularly for the health benefits, retirement benefits and just the stability and less time committing as i do treasure my personal and social time which a jon allows you. I cld embark on a side hustle if one works but not as a primary source of income.
-My child will succeed. I may not have the financial means to have her (or them) go the most expensive schools, however with available resources i will ensure the education provided will provide a pathway to longterm success. I want my child to live a better life than i have had. I will openly teach her and let her know the mistakes i made so she is well informed to be a better woman.

Day 30: Write a letter to your future mate saying whatever you want to say

Dear love,

I have waited so long for you, stumbled upon many rocks, been cut by many knives and shed many tears in my pursuit of you. It was however. A result of all that turmoil that i became the woman you met. I am ready to embrace you and us in ways i was unable to before. Due to my self love i am able to love you without conflict. To embrace and enjoy our journey together.

Many came and left. Many used and abused me. They were all learning lessons i had to go through to become the whole woman i am today. Had you met me before, i was clouded by insecurities, fear and anger. I overcame all that. I will preface by saying however i am not perfect like any human being, however i am doing everything i can to be the best version of me ever.

I hope we get to travel together, spend endless hours on the phone, dance together as well as simply enjoy each other's company. I hope we can share each other's dreams, pick each other up when one is falling, never walk away or abandon each other when mistakes are made~  but instead learn together.

It is my hope that my daughter may look uo to you as a role model male present in her life and that she may realize that not all men leave. It is my hope that when i am weak you may be my pillar and you understand i am a sensitive person. It is my hope that we apologize when wrongs are done and move on and never dwell on negativity. It is also my hope that our companionship may be a great partnership for great endings.

Please realize as much as we are all human and love intimacy, sex is not the premise of our union. Being attracted to you is a great feeling physically but it doesn't define who we are. I want us to connect on deeper levels.

Lastly if you ever have to leave, please be kind enough as to let me know and not abandon me.

I want to love you wholly and i hope you will love me too. Material things will never be a priority.

Lets enjoy each other and our journey.

Love,

Me

Day 29: Who is your closest or most special friend that you’ve never met and what do they mean to you? How did you cross paths? Talk about how you “met” them: Facebook, Twitter, an online support group, etc.

I do not have any close friends who i met via any social medium. I am active on all those channels however have never been one to develop relationships with people i have never met. I prefer the old fashioned way of meeting and developing friendships.

Day 28: Describe a moment when you made a big, bold move. In any area of life: Career, Love, etc.

The move from Indianapolis in September 30, 2011. I knew nobody, didn't know where we were going to stay in Pennsylvania. All i had was a job. Between me and poverty all i had was about $135. The car had died a couple
Days before, but i still packed up with my daughter and we left.

I had decided i was no longer going to exist as a slave to my painful, embarrassing and humiliating past. I was done living for men and people and was ready to face life alone as i wanted. All i knew was God would make sure we'd be fine as long as i had a job and a car.

Day 27: Talk about something that you really, really, really love about yourself.

One thing i love about myself is i have a very determined spirit. If i want something, in a strange sort of way, i dont ever give up on it. I try anything to make it happen. I do the research required to achieve it and i will fight to get it with all the information i have.

I am not scared of anything or possible obstacles i will persevere until i get it. I think its that persistent attitude along with my faith in God that has landed me a lot of what i have achieved and will achieve in future.

I do not give up or get discouraged easily. And pain, hardship.... I face it head on and creatively make it thru. I am a very strong independent person in that regard

Day 26: Name a song that makes you cry every time you hear it and why

The song "Next time around" by TGT . It takes me to a dark place. I have no desire to listen to it.

Reason being it reminds me of the last dude i was seeing, when he sent me a text from overseas telling me he wasn't ready for a relationship with me. I had never heard that in my life and its the worst kind of rejection ever. I was a mess. Its like someone saying ur kool but not for me.

I should have listened and let him go then cos what followed wa months and months of the reminder that he wasn't and would never be until he finally walked off completely. Ots a painful song for me to hear bottom. Reminds me of the pain,  loss and regrets i have.

It reminds me of the many times he disappeared, with no warning, no explanation. Bottom line we were never in a relationship and basically u can hope one day he wld have been is what the song said to me.

Day 25: Describe a moment when you “paid it forward.” What happened and how did it feel?

Right before i moved from Indy, i saw an add on craigslist a lady was looking for baby clothes for a boy.  I had some from the collections id got from the church ladies and Sam that i had no use for. I called her and gave her the stuff. Seeing her in her raggedy car and two babies in the back made me realize i had done a wonderful deed. She really needed any help i could tell. It felt fulfilling blessing her with what id been blessed with. Even though it wasn't much